In all civilizations people have sensed a mysterious sacredness about the union of man and woman. There has always been a vague realization that the deep longing for oneness with “the other” is life-giving – and that it is a longing for oneness with the source of all life.
Jesus made marriage the sacrament of matrimony, giving matrimony a new dimension to the Christian vocation that begins in baptism. In matrimony a husband and wife are called to love each other in a very practical way: by serving each other’s most personal needs; by working seriously at communicating their personal thoughts and feelings to each other so their oneness is always alive and growing. This love is explicitly, beautifully sexual.
In matrimony a couple is also called to live their sacrament for others. By their obvious closeness, a couple affects the lives of others with “something special” – the love of Christ in our midst. They reveal Christ’s love and make it contagious to their children and to all who come into contact with them. A major purpose and natural outcome of matrimony is procreation or the beginning of new life – children. But a couple’s love also validates the life of Christ’s Spirit to other people. A couple does not live a life of love because they happen to be compatible. They do it consciously and deliberately because it is their vocation.
Matrimony is much more that a private arrangement between two people. It is a sacramental vocation in and for the Church. It is a method through which Christ reveals and deepens the mystery of his oneness with us, his Body.
In the Catholic Church, a couple’s sacramental union is exclusive (one man with one woman) and indissoluble (till death do us part). These are concrete ways in which the mysterious oneness between husband and wife, Christ and Church, becomes reality.
Marriage Preparation
1. Call Fr. David 407-482-4282 to meet with him six to nine months before the proposed wedding date.
2. Belong to St. Maximilian Kolbe Catholic Church. If you are not a registered member of the parish, attend the next First Step orientation ( How to Become a Member )
3. Please have 2 people who have known the bride since she was age 16 (parents, uncles, aunts, long-time friends) complete the Witness Form and have the Witness Form notarized. Same for the groom. You can click on the link below to open the form. http://home.catholicweb.com/stspeterpaulwinterparkfl/files/Form_B.pdf
What’s the difference between getting married in a Catholic Church and getting married outside the church?
CONGRATULATIONS!
You have decided to share your lives together. You wish to have God’s blessing upon your marriage. St. Maximilian Kolbe Catholic Church is here to help you so that you have Christ as the foundation for your married life.
You make three promises when you marry in the Catholic church.
First, you promise to be faithful. You promise not to commit adultery physically or emotionally. You promise not to click on internet porn. Fidelity means that you do not let your kids, career, or home become more important than your marriage. You always ask instead, “What’s best for our marriage?”
Second, you promise to be fruitful. Your marriage is not just about you and your spouse. You are open to the gift of life. Using Natural Family Planning, you do not need artificial contraception to be responsible parents.
Third, your promise is forever. Actually, you promise “all the days of my life.” When one of you dies, the other is free to remarry. Your number one priority each and every day is your marriage.
When you keep these three promises, your marriage becomes a sacrament through which God blesses us. You are truly married in the Church.
I am married outside the Catholic Church, How do I have my marriage blessed in the church?
Call Fr. David 407-482-4282 to meet with him.
You will need to get a legally certified copy of your marriage license. You can get a legally certified copy of your marriage license from the courthouse of the county where you were married.
You will need to get a newly issued baptism certificate. The original baptism certificate is not sufficient. Call or write the Catholic church where you were baptized and ask them for a new baptism certificate. It is free and takes about a week for the Catholic church to mail you a new baptism certificate. (If your spouse is not Catholic, he or she does not have to provide a baptism certificate.)
After you meet with Fr. David, you will meet for an evening with a St. Max couple. They will help you with REFOCCUS, a tool to learn more about yourselves and your marriage.
After REFOCCUS, you will attend a Convalidation workshop. The Convalidation workshop is hosted at St. Margaret Mary Catholic Church in Winter Park several times a year. It takes place on a Saturday. Call the Office of Family Life of the Diocese of Orlando at 407-246-4865 to register.
The blessing of your marriage, technically called a convalidation, can be before or after a Sunday Mass. It can be a separate ceremony or a separate Mass at another Catholic church. You do not need a limousine, flower girls, or a band. You can invite friends and family to enjoy the blessed day!
If either you or your spouse has a prior marriage, you have to petition for an annulment. This applies to Catholics and non-Catholics alike. An annulment is a church process to determine whether the man and woman, when they married, understood their marriage promises and were able to live them out. Factors at the time of marriage such as alcoholism, drug abuse, pregnancy, or a young age may have compromised the free and fully informed decision to marry. The annulment process may take about a year. A date for a Catholic wedding may not be set until the annulment is granted. If you are granted an annulment of the prior marriage, you are free to marry in the Catholic church.
What does marriage preparation involve?
Call Fr. David 407-482-4282 to meet with him six to nine months before the proposed wedding date.
Belong to St. Maximilian Kolbe Catholic Church. If you are not a registered member of the parish, attend the next First Step orientation, where you can register in the parish.
You will need to get a newly issued baptism certificate. The original baptism certificate is not sufficient. Call or write the Catholic church where you were baptized and ask them for a new baptism certificate. It is free and takes about a week for the Catholic church to mail you a new baptism certificate. (If your fiancée is not Catholic, he or she does not have to provide a baptism certificate.)
You will need to fill out two Witness Forms. The bride and the groom each need two witnesses to complete and have notarized a Witness Form that states that they are free to be married in the church. Your witnesses can be your parents, relatives, or anyone who has known you since age sixteen. You can get the Witness Form when you meet the priest. The Witness Forms have to be completed before a wedding date can be set.
After you meet with Fr. David, you will meet for twice with a St. Max couple. They will help you with FOCCUS, an inventory to learn more about yourselves and your relationship. FOCCUS is a tool to help you name and work through issues before marriage. It covers life style expectations, friends and interests, personality match, personal issues, communication, problem solving, religion and values, parenting, extended family, sexuality, finances, marriage covenant, and cohabitation, among other categories. The first time you meet with your FOCCUS couple at their home, you fill out the FOCCUS inventory. The second meeting, usually a week later, you talk about your responses.
Call Fr. David after you have met with your FOCCUS couple. He may meet with you to follow up on issues from FOCCUS. Once he has your four witness forms and baptism certificates and there are not any special circumstances, you can set the wedding date.
The Pre-Cana Weekend Retreat is held at San Pedro Center in Winter Park in February, May, August, and November. It costs $297 per couple. It is from Friday evening through Sunday afternoon. You need to have completed FOCCUS before going on the Pre Cana Weekend. You get a certificate of completion at the end of the weekend. Call the Family Life Office of the Diocese of Orlando 407-246-4865 to register for the Pre-Cana Weekend Retreat.
After the Pre-Cana Weekend Retreat, call Fr. David or the priest presiding at your wedding to review the scripture readings and walk through the ceremony. He will give you a form to bring to the county clerk that will give you a discount on your marriage license. The sacrament of reconciliation (confession) is encouraged for the Catholics. Call the musician to choose the music for the wedding ceremony.
The wedding date may be set after you have met the priest and met twice with your FOCCUS couple, and your file has all four Witness Forms and your baptism certificate. It usually takes about two to three months after you first contact St. Max to set the wedding date.
What about prior marriage or pregnancy?
If either you or your fiancée has one or more prior marriages, you have to petition for an annulment. This applies to Catholics and non-Catholics alike. An annulment is a church process to determine whether the man and woman, when they married, understood their marriage promises and were able to live them out. Factors at the time of marriage such as alcoholism, drug abuse, pregnancy, or a young age may have compromised the free and fully informed decision to marry. The annulment process may take about a year. An annulment does not affect the children from the prior marriage. A date for a Catholic wedding may not be set until the annulment is granted. If you are granted an annulment, you are free to marry in the Catholic church.
If you are pregnant, you may marry or you may wait. The Church seeks the best for both you and the expected child. Pregnancy of itself is not reason enough to be married. Pregnancy does not omit the usual six month preparation process. Every effort is made to insure that you are truly ready for marriage. You will be referred to a Catholic Charities counselor in Orlando (407-658-1818) for a pre-marital evaluation.
When can we set the date?
The wedding date may be set after you have met the priest and met twice with your FOCCUS couple, and your file has all four Witness Forms and your baptism certificate. It usually takes about two to three months after you first contact the parish to set the wedding date.
Everything you ever wanted to know about the wedding ceremony
Why do we have weddings?
· Seal and strengthen your love
· Signify and share in the union between Christ and us, his Church
· Celebrate your union before God and the Church.
Wedding Church
As our parish does not have a church building, we may use a local Catholic Church. We may use Saint Joseph Catholic Church at 1501 North Alafaya Trail, on the southeast corner of Colonial Drive and Alafaya Trail. You must have permission from St. Maximilian Kolbe Catholic Church before you can set a date with St. Joseph Catholic Church or another Catholic Church.
Nuptial Mass or Ceremony
* When both bride and groom are Catholic, a Catholic Mass is preferred; a Catholic Mass takes about 45 minutes.
* When either the bride or groom is not Catholic, a wedding outside of Mass is preferred and takes about 35 minutes.
Wedding Program
* Make a wedding program. The most special weddings invite the participation of the assembly to sing and pray together. Ask for sample wedding programs.
Rehearsal
* Rehearsals are usually held Friday afternoon or evening.
* The rehearsal starts with prayer.
* Lectors practice their entire scripture reading from the pulpit during the rehearsal.
* Bring your marriage license to the rehearsal.
Before the wedding ceremony begins
* You have invited friends and family to your wedding. Out of hospitality to your guests, you may greet people at the entrance to the church.
* Ushers and bridesmaids seat people up front and forward close to the action. If you wish, there may be groom and bride sides.
* The cantor may briefly rehearse a piece of music with the assembly to encourage people to sing and participate.
* The cantor invites people to stand and greet those around them before the procession begins.
* The wedding party processes in this order: priest, groomsmen escorting bridesmaids, family escorting groom, family escorting bride. The alternate order of procession: priest or deacon, groom, groomsmen escorting bridesmaids, bride and father.
* Select one instrumental piece for the entire procession.
Scripture
* From the selections in the Together for Life booklet which you received at the Pre-Cana Weekend, choose a scripture reading from the Old Testament (first reading) and New Testament (second reading) and Gospel.
* Review the readings with the priest or deacon, share with him why you chose those scripture readings.
* Select two readers who lector in their own church and are good public speakers.
* A third person of your choosing may read the General Intercessions.
Rite of marriage
* Face the assembly for the exchange of rings and promises.
If a Nuptial Mass
You may choose two people to bring forward the gifts of bread and wine during the presentation of gifts.
Donations
* Contact the church for the musician’s fee and fee for use of the church. All fees are due one month before the wedding date.
* A donation is simply that, a donation. You do not need to give a donation to Fr. David or to St. Max.
* You are expected though to support the parish financially and give a weekly offering to the Sunday collection. Your offering should be a percentage of your income.
* All donations are tax deductible when the check is made out to Saint Maximilian Kolbe Catholic Church.
Flowers
* Pew ribbons and flowers may be used provided that they are attached with protected wiring (no tape) and do not shed.
* Flowers and plants may be placed by the altar and ambo, but with care not to block movement, sightlines or aisles.
Candles
* If you are having a unity candle ceremony, you need to provide your own candle.
* Candles or candelabras attached to pew ends are not allowed.
Rice and confetti
* Rice, confetti, bird seed and dropping of flower petals are not allowed. Bubbles outside the church are fine.
Aisle runners
* Aisle runners and aisle cloths are not allowed.
Dressing rooms
* Contact the church to find out where the bride may dress. The other bridal parties and parishioners are grateful that you leave the church and bathrooms in better condition than you found them.
Photography
* Photographs and videotapes are great reminders of your wedding. However, you don’t want the taking of pictures to become more important than the wedding itself.
* Photographers and videographers set up in one place in the back of the church behind the sight-lines of the assembly. Before and after the ceremony, they may move about and use a flash.
“Get me to the church on time”
* Arrive on time for the rehearsal.
* Plan on arriving about an hour before the wedding. Give yourselves time to relax and, in fairness to others, to start the wedding on time.
Food and drink
* The church is used by many people. Out of their consideration, no food or drink is allowed anywhere in the church building.
Music
* Call the parish musician 4-6 weeks before the wedding to choose the music
* At the discretion of the parish musician, other musicians and singers may be considered depending on their skill.
* The music selected must reflect the meaning of the sacrament of marriage.
Important Phone Numbers
407-482-4282 Saint Maximilian Kolbe Catholic Church
407-275-0841 Saint Joseph Catholic Church
407-658-1818 Catholic Charities
407-246-4865 Pre Cana Weekend/Family Life Office